Defined by others

I define myself by people,
what they like, I like.
What they hate, I hate.
Reminded of the alternating scrambled and bulls eye.
They be angry ,i be angry.

I define myself by sun signs.
I want so badly to fall under the category or out of all,I will change me,

I am chameleon.
I am nobody.

I detest this feeling of being nobody.
I want to be so much like other people,
I study other people, so I can be different.
So I can listen to music nobody else does,
so I can speak a language few others speak.

My identity is in what others expect of me.

It is not solid, it is sordid.
It is not ideal, it is illusion

my soul searches for a way to be different,
to be unique by being her, by being him and by being gray.
It sickens me yet its the truth, and they say the truth shall set you free.

I am not eloquent, I am no elusive beauty, I am envious of their pride, their happiness, their contentment.

I search in rock, in Vedas, in god, in Satan,in books nobody reads.
I become the movie, I become the song, I become her.
I am adaptable, I am formless, I am shadow.

I hunger handicap for pity,
I yearn happiness for envy
I ache halo for sainthood
I pine sainthood for salvation
I hurt salvation for enlightenment

I am not strong, I am sick
I am not me, I am you.